At least, that's what I thought at the time. Not that my life was going off course, but instead that this experience, this sensation, this moment communicated a message from God, "Michael, I want you to be a United Methodist minister."
The moment felt like peace. It felt like love. It felt serene. It was strange, surreal, and it scared the buh-jee-sus out of me.
It happened like this: I was driving home from church late one Wednesday evening. I think it was summer... the summer of 2003. South Tulsa was far enough away from the city that I could see stars shining in the dark night's sky. At the time, I led the 6th and 7th grade Bible study class. The group would spend 45 minutes in Bible study, dialogue, and push-ups (if you talked out of turn). Then 45 minutes playing nationball, the greatest dodgeball game in existence. I was 17 years old, about to start my senior year of high school.
When the last kid had been picked up, I got in my car and began the drive home. I was only a half-mile down the road before I noticed something very peculiar... peace. It was an unfamiliar tranquility. So unfamiliar that I was frightened. I looked around and said out loud, "Is this God?" In my heart, I knew the answer to be yes.
As a lifelong United Methodist, I had only one frame of reference with which to interpret this experience -- the story of John Wesley and his strange heartburn. This was a pivotal moment in Wesley's life when he claims to develop a new, fuller understanding about grace. In my life, I interpreted this moment to be God's way of saying, "Would you like a job?"
Up until this point I had planned to make lots of money as an engineer of some sort, either chemical or computer. I had always had a soft spot for missions. But I didn't have a clear picture of how I was going to integrate missions into my life. And I certainly didn't think it would be my full-time occupation.
Then this thing, this moment, this experience, this feeling happened. And it changed everything.
After talking with my mom, a church mentor, my pastor, and everyone under the sun, I felt confirmed that this feeling was a call to ministry.
At first, I was worried that my folks would be disappointed if I didn't want to enter a lucrative field. I had no idea what pastors made, but I was pretty sure it wasn't as much as an engineer. But they were incredibly supportive and soon I was packing my bags for Oklahoma City University where I would begin my preparation for ministry as a religion major.
This is a blog about me. My story, my reflections, my journey. It's self-indulgent, I know.
I'm writing because I'm trying to make sense of where I am in life and how I got here. There's some narrative that connects the past 8 years of my life, and I'm desperate to find it. Like the boy in the car asking the night air if God is out there, I'm eager to make meaning of my experiences.
Read if you're interested, comment if you'd like. I hope if you know me, you'll learn something I was too shy to tell you. And if you don't know me, I hope my story(s) help you make meaning in your life.
Grace and Peace.
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